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And How to
Propose Them
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So
you have been asked to propose a toast at a wedding ... Here are a few helpful
hints.
Be
prepared. Don’t be like the House of
Commons colleague Winston Churchill once described as “one of those who before
they get up, do not know what they are going to say; when they are speak.ing do
not know what they are saying and when they have sat down, do not know what
they have said.”
Give
substance to your remarks. A good wedding toast can be enriched with a few
words of wisdom. The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations or Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations
are most useful and can be found at any public library.
It
is appropriate to include quotations, anecdotes and jokes in your speech as
long as they do not detract from the message you are trying to deliver or the
sentiments you wish to convey.
Know
your audience. Ask yourself, what would
they like to hear from me? Do not use
obscure words or overly complicated phrases unless you are sure of their
meaning and confident that your audience will understand them.
When
mentioning names of persons or places be sure they are correct and you
pronounce them properly.
Avoid
cliches, hackneyed quotations and overused phrases. Don’t be too emotional or too serious. Remember, a wedding is a happy occasion. The toast you propose should be lighthearted
and cheerful. Be sincere and speak with
affection and interest.
Be
witty but never vulgar. Vulgarity is the
bankruptcy of wit. Select your jokes
carefully and stay away from those that are too risqué, a bit sick or of an
ethnic or religious nature. You likely
have an audience that is mixed in age, origin, background and education - you
never know who you might offend. Nor do
you have to have them rolling in the aisles - leave that to professional
comedians.
Play
your funny lines with a straight face.
Never smile, however much your audience is in stitches.
Do
not memorize your remarks. It does not
matter if you occasionally refer to the main points listed on cards, as long as
you do not read or recite your speech.
Reading means that your head is down, and you therefore lose eye contact
with your audience.
Before
you start your speech be sure you know how you are going to finish it.
Do
not eat or drink too much before it is time to give your speech. Even if your overindulgence is not apparent,
it will make you feel uncomfortable and will ultimately hamper your delivery.
When
using a microphone, become familiar with it beforehand and make sure it works
properly. Don’t be afraid of it but
remember that, unlike the human ear, it can “hear” everything with equal
clarity. Do not wear noisy jewelry and
avoid crinkly paper for your notes.
Instead, use small easy to read cards placed at arm’s length. Hold them
below the level of the microphone where they will not touch it and where you
can glance at them without moving your head or straining your eyes. Stand in one place and remember, you are
addressing an audience, not the microphone.
Speak in a normal voice, about one-third slower than you normally would;
don’t shout but if you are soft-spoken, raise the level a little. Enunciate clearly and vary your pitch so that
it doesn’t come across monotonously. Avoid posturing or “reciting” your lines
as if you were an old-time Shakespearean actor.
The
toasting usually begins as soon as the wedding meal has been consumed or after
the cake cutting ceremony. But it can also be started any, time after the
receiving line has disbanded.
Everyone
- the guests as well as the wedding party - is served a beverage. Champagne or wine is traditional for
proposing toasts - they add a special note to the occasion. However, fruit punch (alcoholic or
non-alcoholic) ginger ale or white grape juice are acceptable substitutes. Tea, coffee or water should never be used for
toasting.
When
there is a head table, the beverage for the toast is first served to the bride,
then to the groom, next to the maid of honor, the other head table guests and
lastly to the best man. When there is no
head table, the wedding party usually forms into a group as soon as the
receiving line is disbanded. After being served the beverage for the toast, the
wedding party waits for the speeches to begin.
It
is the job of the master of ceremonies to keep things running smoothly. He must make sure that all toasts and
speeches tie together and that there are no time gaps between
presentations. If there is an orchestra,
he should ask that a few bars of music be played to get everyone’s attention. The toasting is now ready to begin.
Flexibility
is the watchword of any wedding these days.
However, the following sequence is the one traditionally followed:
It
usually is made by a friend of her family, a relative or by the best man. The speaker is introduced by the master of
ceremonies. ‘When addressing the bride,
don’t just wish her happiness. Recount
an amusing incident that you have both shared and that is appropriate to the
occasion. It should provide a personal
glimpse into her life, such as a mischievous deed that some will fondly
remember. Mention one or more of her
idiosyncrasies without embarrassing her, flatter her and pay tribute to her,
but don’t be overly sentimental.
In
recent years it has almost been the rule to include the groom in the toast to
the bride. In this case, talk about each individually. You might mention some inside knowledge of
the relationship between the two families and/or the background to their
courtship - where and how they met. If
you played a part in the budding of their romance, refer to it
affectionately. If you are familiar with
their professions, hobbies and specific
interests, work these into your theme.
You can be facetious but make sure all your remarks are in good
taste. If you are a friend of one of the
families, don’t just praise them but give at least equal time to the other
family. This even applies if you are
proposing a toast to the bride alone. In
both cases, be brief; this is neither the time nor the place for lengthy family
histories. Five minutes or less is sufficient
for a personal salute to the bride, to the bride and groom or for other toasts
that follow.
Do
not forget to conclude your remarks by proposing a formal toast - whether you
are addressing the bride, the bride and groom, members of the wedding party or
the guests. It is customary to end the
toast to the bride (and groom) by saying, “And now, ladies and gentlemen, may I
ask you to rise (if they are seated; if they are standing only ask them to
raise their glasses) and join me in wishing the charming couple health and
happiness. Kathy and Bill!” The audience
will respond with, “to Kathv and Bill,” while they raise their glasses. They then sip the contents.
If
the toast is made to the bride alone, the groom rises with the others. When it is offered to both, they simply nod
and smile, remaining seated together; they do not drink to themselves.
The Groom’s Response to the
Toast to the Bride (and Groom)
This is not an easy task to perform. If you have difficulty expressing your
feelings, then saying “thank you” is often harder. You must first focus attention on yourself
and your bride, making a few complimentary remarks about her. You then switch to the person who has earlier
proposed the toast to your bride (and to you), thanking him / her for their kind
words. You then thank your new in-laws
and your own parents. It is also
customary for the groom to propose the toast to the bridesmaid(s) to which the
best man will respond on their behalf. Be sure to mention everyone by name that
you wish to thank and say who he or she is.
Not everyone is familiar with each member of the wedding party. Above
all, deliver your words gracefully and without awkwardness, making those you
address part of your own happiness.
Although traditional wedding etiquette does not
provide for a speech by the bride, there really is no reason why she cannot say
a few words after her husband has spoken.
She can thank the wedding guests for coming and for being so generous
with their gifts. She also can thank her
new in-laws for making her feel “like a daughter” and express gratitude to her
own parents for being so supportive.
If the groom has indeed proposed a toast to the
bridesmaids, the best man replies on their behalf, adding a few complimentary
remarks and a vote of thanks. If,
however, the bride has decided to follow her husband with a short speech of her
own, the groom should not propose a toast to the bridesmaids, leaving it to the
best man to do so. The response can then
come from someone else, perhaps a relative or friend.
Other toasts that may have been omitted earlier also
can be proposed at this time.
Introduced
by the master of ceremonies or the preceding speaker, the father of the bride
proposes the final toast. In his and his
wife’s name, he thanks their guests for coming to their daughter’s wedding; he
also can say a few nice words about his wife and welcome his new son-in-law’s
parents into the family. As the host of
the party, he proposes a toast to the members of the wedding and to the guests,
to which the entire assembly can respond in unison. He then invites everyone to continue the
festivities in the spirit in which they have begun.
Following the last speech, the best man or the
master of ceremonies reads any telegrams that may have been sent by absent
friends and relatives, congratulating the young couple. If the greetings are witty, they will add
gaiety to the proceedings.
Toasts
are just as welcome as at first marriages and although certain traditions can
be dispensed with when the bride and/or groom have been married before, the
best man or a friend of the couple can lead off a series of toasts. The groom, in his response, should certainly
toast his new bride, and there is no law against the bride toasting her new
husband. It is however, in poor taste to
refer to either of the spouses’ earlier marriages. It is acceptable to mention any children from
a previous marriage.
The
various toasts that follow are merely examples.
They should encourage you to compose your own toasts that will be
unique, original and tailor-made for the occasion.
These
examples are similar to recipes that only list the basic ingredients for making
a dish. It is up to you, the speaker, to
add the spicing - the personalized references, anecdotes and quips.
Good luck!
My
friends, I am delighted to have been asked to propose a toast to the
bride. I consider it a privilege and an
honor, especially since I have known __________ and __________ for some time.
Our bride has beauty, charm, intelligence and many other assets that
have endeared her to her family and friends.
Her handsome groom has also been endowed with many outstanding
qualities. If there is one thing they
both have in common, it is exquisitely good taste, which they have shown, once
again, by choosing each other. I also
know that they will shun no effort to make their marriage succeed. They- are both very special people any by
letting us come to their wedding, they have provided us with an opportunity to
participate in the celebration of their love.
As
I am about to propose the health of the bride, I am reminded of the words of
Williarn Congreve that old cynic of English literature: “Though marriage makes
man and wife one flesh, it leaves them two fools.” When I look at these two
young people, I realize that they don’t seem to object to their so-called
“foolishness,” and when I look around this room, it occurs to me that they are
in good company.
What
can I wish you? Let me address you, dear
__________, in the words of Berthe Rubin, a prominent adult educator: “May your
independence be individual; your dependence mutual and your cooperation
reciprocal.”
And
now, ladies and gentlemen please join me in the traditional toast to the bride:
‘health, happiness and love, with all the best life has to offer. To _________!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE
If
my long acquaintance with the bride constitutes the right to propose her health
and happiness, then I certainly qualify.
I have known her pretty well all her life, and no one is more delighted
than I to see her get married to ____________ who seems to have all the
qualifications she has been looking for.
You
two will bring to the world a richness that deserves to grow and flower; _________,
with the culture and history of _________ and you, my dear ____________, whose
ancestors came from ________. Both of you can combine your heritages to create
a marriage that will balance each partner’s needs with the other’s ability to
fulfill them. Maintaining that balance
should be your most important goal.
I
am confident you will reach that goal. May the love and affection that surround
you today accompany you throughout your married life. Let me wish you a long and happy life, with
silver and golden wedding anniversaries on the horizon.
Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in responding
to my toast to the bride, for I know you feel as I do. To __________!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE
This is a particularly happy moment for me. Having been asked to propose a toast to the
bride, who today looks more beautiful than ever, got me thinking about her many
good qualities. Apart from being considerate, kind and a loyal friend, it has
always come easy to her to say things that made people feel good. Expressing what
you feel is not easy, although some people master it without being branded
mushy or soft. In this context, I am
reminded of an anecdote about Britain’s famous wartime prime minister, Sir
Winston Churchill. Toward the end of his
life he attended a function in London where each guest was asked, “If you
couldn’t be who you are, who would you like to be?” When it was Sir Winston’s
turn to reply, he rose, turned to his wife Clementine and said, “If I couldn’t
be who I am, I would most like to be Lady Churchill’s second husband.”
How many young husbands would say that to their
wives - in public? Sir Winston had
nothing to fear. In our social
structure, the young men who are supposed to be macho find it hard to say, “I
love you” to the person who means the most to them. I don’t know whether you, _______ suffer from
this hang-up but regardless of whether you do or not, I say to you; don’t be
afraid, tell her you love her. She wants
to hear you say it; and if you do, I promise your rewards will be immeasurable!
I have no hang-ups about saying how wonderful I feel
to be here, and I expect you, honored guests, to respond heartily to the
rousing toast I am about to propose:
Here’s
to the health of a lovely bride
May happiness be always at
her side
And may each day of married
bliss
Be as sweet and as loving as
all
this!
To
__________!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE
Ladies
and gentlemen: I am not an experienced speaker, but after I had consented to
propose a toast to our lovely bride, I thought that the first thing I would have
to do is research the origin of the ritual I had been asked to perform. I went to the library and, after wading
through reams of wedding-related material, I discovered that the custom
probably started with the Greeks, was copied by the Romans and then spread to
several European cultures. However, it
was not until the seventeenth century, during the reign of Charles II in
England, when the custom of toasting a beautiful lady began. At that time, it was common practice, I
understand, for a famous beauty to bathe in public. On one such occasion, a gallant admirer was
so taken with a lady’s charms that he scooped up a cupful of her bathwater and
proceeded to drink to her health with it.
His more fastidious companion, somewhat befuddled at the time, proclaimed
he would willingly have the toast, that is the beauty floating, in it - but not
the liquor.
In
more recent times, toasts may have been drunk out of a lady’s slipper, the
toastmaster kneeling before her or standing on a chair with one foot on the table. Fortunately, my task is simpler. I can remain standing on both feet, raise my
glass and ask this distinguished assembly to rise and join me in a toast to a
lovely bride and her handsome groom.
In
keeping with the medieval theme, I would like to conclude my little speech with
a charming old English wedding toast:
I
wish thee health, I wish thee wealth
I wish thee gold in store
I wish thee heaven upon
earth.
What could I wish thee more?
To ________ and __________!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE
Happiness
in marriage has been investigated, studied, experimented and analyzed by many
people in a thousand different ways. I
don’t want to indulge in a long dissertation on that; all I want to give you,
________is a hint or two on how to stay happily married.
Have
you ever asked yourself, what are the most important ingredients for success in
marriage? If you haven’t, this is as
good a time as any. Some people say it’s sex, for others it’s
companionship and the opportunity to share mutual interests. There is nothing wrong with any of these but
to my mind talking things out and a willingness to compromise are equally
vital. The French writer, Andre Maurois
put it this way: “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too
short.” Another one whose name escapes me believed marriage was an adventure in
cooperation: the more we share, the richer
we’ll be, and the less we share,
the poorer we’ll be. Cooperation means
compromise, - and compromise means speaking out on issues that are important to
our well-being.
There
are two kinds of compromise: in one you meet your partner halfway - in that
case, at least fifty percent of your desires will be fulfilled. The other type
involves a tradeoff. You do what you want in one area, and he’ll do what he
wants in another. But it is important
for both of you to play an active part in this barter; it will only be
effective if each of you believes you are getting a good deal.
Humor
is another worthwhile ingredient.
However, as I know you have the ability to laugh and make people happy,
you probably have thought of that one yourself.
Stay happy!
Ladies
and Gentlemen, here’s to our lovely bride and her handsome groom; may they have
good fortune and good health always. To
______and __________.
Many
of you probably know that our lovely bride is an April child, born in the month
when the sky can change from sunny to cloudy in minutes and soon after the day
can be warm and balmy again.
I
have seen ________in many moods, for she can be as unpredictable and changeable as a day in April. Her “blue periods” never last long and before
you know it, she is her usual sunny self again.
I
am sure our groom knows that, too. For
isn’t it her vivaciousness that makes her so much fun to be with? We all have our ups and downs, our good days
and our bad days. Let’s face it,
spending a lifetime with someone who is cheerful all the time must be a pretty strenuous existence.
That
is why I say to both of you, watch the rise and fall of your individual
barometers and be prepared for sudden changes in temperature. Then, be patient,
tolerant and above all - keep your sense of humor. Learning to respect and even love each
other’s little idiosyncrasies is he first rule for a happy marriage. This I wish for you with all my heart. I
believe your love is strong enough to weather any storm.
I
have old Scottish toast to conclude my little speech:
May
the hinges of friendship never rust
Ladies
and gentlemen, ‘the bride and the bridegroom -may they live happily ever after.
To _________ and ___________.
TOAST BY THE BRIDE’S UNCLE
I
meant confess that when I first was told about the arrangements for the wedding
of my favorite niece, I was secretly hoping that someone would ask me to
propose a toast to her. She is very dear
to me, and the fact that she chose a spouse of whom I approve wholeheartedly
made this assignment twice as attractive.
Ever
since _________was old enough to walk and talk, I noticed certain traits in her
character that convinced me that she would grow up to become a kind and caring
adult. She also had good looks and great
intelligence when she was little, although I will not bore you with all the
clever things she said to me. But there
was always something about her that I couldn’t define, something in her
personality that made her different from some of the kids I knew. She had charm, ladies and gentlemen, oodles
and oodles of charm.
Now
what is charm? The Scottish dramatist,
Sir James Barrie, defines it this way: “If you have it, you don’t need anything
else and if you don’t have it, it does not matter what else you have.” I agree
with that, and ____certainly has it.
Obviously, _______discovered it too, as it must have been the many things
that attracted him to her. __________, I congratulate you on your good taste
and perceptiveness.
What
can an old romantic like me wish you both?
May your married life be the kind about which poems are written and
songs are composed. May your be each
others comfort and joy for many years to come, and may your love stay as fresh
and young as you both are to today!
Ladies
and gentlemen, To the bride!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE BY A
FRIEND OF THE FAMILY
The
very pleasant duty has fallen to me to propose a toast to the bride. As an old
friend of the family, it is not difficult for me to pay tribute to so beautiful
a young woman as ________. She is loved and admired by everyone for her many
qualities - her charm, her integrity and her kindness towards others.
__________, now is about embark on one of the most important ventures of her
life- matrimony, an institution that seems to hold so many attractions that
even those who have done poorly at it the first time do not hesitate to walk
down the aisle a second, third or even fourth time. I am sure _________ knows that to make
marriage run smoothly she will have to work on it daily. It will not
automatically make her happier than ever before, although it will bring many
happy moments. There will be
frustrations, ups and downs, and occasional conflicts. Therefore, I say to both of you: when a
problem arises, deal with it honestly, diplomatically and above all - without
anger: but deal with it you must. If, in
the end, you can get your own way often enough to feel content and happy your
marriage will be on a solid footing, and you will both be able to grow and
flourish harmoniously together.
Ladies
and gentlemen, may ask you to rise and drink a toast to a lovely lady. Someone once said that nature intended woman
to be her masterpiece; in this case she certainly succeeded. To good health and happiness.
To
me, giving advice is like breathing - you cannot stop me. According to the French writer Rochefoucauld,
old men delight in giving good advice as a consolation for the fact that they
can no longer set bad examples. It is
debatable, whether I can or cannot set bad examples - I leave that to you young
ones to decide - and needless to say I have my own ideas or the subject. I am also told that one should shun advice
from those who use parables and proverbs to reinforce it but, nevertheless, I
am inclined to quote the famous Dr. David Reuben, who compared marriage to a
long trip in a tiny rowboat. “If one
passenger starts to rock the boat,”he said, “the other has to steady it,
otherwise they will go to the bottom together.
As
you are about to embark on your long trip of matrimony together and I would
hate to see you go down to the bottom, I offer this piece of sound advice. No
doubt, from time to time, one or the other will be tempted to “rock the boat.”
There is no harm in that, but whenever one of you gets the urge, make sure the
other is prepared to do the steadying so that your ship can continue its voyage
on an even keel without dipping too much to one side or the other.
Another, more down-to-earth piece of advice is never
be bad-tempered at the same time; if one is in a bad mood, let the other be
sweet and kind and let the storm blow over.
If you can’t say something nice, say nothing but continue to communicate. Total silence can be as destructive as
talking too much. Be patient and
tolerant but don’t forget to do something crazy and unexpected once in a while
to keep excitement and romance alive.
Ladies
and gentlemen, please rise and join me in a toast to two happy and wonderful
people the bride and groom!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE BY A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY
Some
people say that proposing a toast to the bride is going out of style. However, I am sure that you will not mind if
I, who has known _________ since her childhood, say a few words paying tribute
to her beauty and charm as well as to some of her other attributes that have
endeared her to us all. I remember her
as a sweet and happy child, as a girl with a sunny disposition.
Now
that she has become a young married woman, I know she will be the kind of mate
who will cause people to say her husband is bragging when he is talking about
her. Her talents for sharing are
inborn. She has developed the art of
attentive listening. She responds not only to expressions of joy, love and
success, but she also empathizes with the negative feelings and blue moods of
others.
Together
with _______, whose human qualities are no less commendable, they will grow and
develop, achieving the kind of Relationship they both desire. The amount of
satisfaction you get from your marriage will not only depend on your agreement
to meet certain of each other’s physical and emotional needs; but also on now
much encouragement and opportunity you receive from each other to freely pursue
individual growth. For growth can only occur if you seek opportunities together
as well as apart.
I
know that your enthusiasm for life and your love for each other will help you
meet the ever-changing demands of our time and your expectations for a long and
happy life together.
________,
let me wish you much luck in your new role as I wish the same to ______.
Please join me in drinking a toast to our lovely bride and her handsome groom. To _______and _______.
I
know that long after _______ and _________ found out that they loved each
other, the thought of actually having a wedding was not uppermost in their
minds. But when they did decide to get
married, both had a pretty good idea what each expected from the other and what
this union would mean to them. I also
know that they were searching for new ways to live happy and fulfilling lives,
and the ceremony we attended today not only symbolized their commitment
beautifully, but also reflected the values, interests and tastes they hold dear
and for which we all have come to love and admire them.
Marriage
is an estate to be entered into advisedly and with utmost caution. As it has
many pitfalls, it is to be approached with discretion and respect, for the
responsibilities it imposes on two often-unsuspecting people can become heavy
burdens to bear. In the case of ___________ and
____________, we know that they
have considered the implications.
Moreover, we are celebrating a union that was not only blessed by the
church and made legal by the state, but was born of love and will be sustained
by the will of two wonderful people.
Neither church nor state could have created it, and we hope neither will
ever terminate it.
We,
who have been privileged to take part in the celebration, can only wish them
well as they set up home together. For
the home is the ultimate proving ground of civility, where civilization can
flourish or end. Let us hope that theirs
will be a place where memories are made over time in an atmosphere of warmth
and tranquility.
Friends
- let us rise and drink a toast to the happy couple. To _______ and __________!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have witnessed ___________
and ________ mutual vows to love respect and trust each other. Two individuals the richer for their oneness
because of their love, brought to this moment the fullness of their hearts as a
treasure to share. They brought their
dreams and the mutual respect for their unique personalities in a spirit very
much their own. And they brought the
most important ingredient necessary to hold two people together in a long-term
relationship - trust. Trust is the
constant in the ordinary, everyday routines of married life. Out of it will grow the reality of a happy
union.
The famous satirist Ogden Nash once said, “marriage
is a legal and religious alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with
the window shut and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” In the case
of________ and ____________, it may be the other way around, or the one may
wish to read in bed while the other wants to turn off the lights. That is why Ogden Nash also said that
“marriage is more interesting than divorce; it’s the only known example of the
happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.”
But a few little annoyances and a little controversy
can go a long way to add zest to married life as long as solutions are found
and irritants removed amicably, yet, with full regard for each other’s needs.
Finding
ways to successfully merge two distinct personalities is not easy. However, I believe _________ and ________,
have all the qualifications to do the job!
Let me now propose a toast to their continued
happiness, joy and good health. Long may they live together in the spirit of
their mutual vows! To _________ and _________!
“God creates new worlds each day by causing
marriages to take place.” These words, taken from a fourteenth century
collection of teachings on Jewish mysticism, are equally significant in our
time. Many cynics look upon the
traditional wedding ceremony as a meaningless ritual performed after the basic
decisions already have been made. ________ and _______, have allowed God to
create a new world for them today by publicly and in His presence acknowledging
their love for each other. By so doing they also strengthened their bond of
marriage.
The
wedding, ceremony is more than words that are read and spoken. It is a dramatic pageant in which movement
and many symbols are used to communicate the feelings the couple wishes to
express. It leaves us looking out onto a
road that can lead to endless joy. There
will be hardships and disappointments along that road, and to travel it will
require strong disciplines and an intelligent approach. Much that is ahead is uncertain, but some
things can be depended upon - faith, hope and mutual trust. You two can set forth along the road because
you have all three in your hearts.
The
giving of the bride by the father to the bridegroom is not so much a transfer
of property as it was symbolized in olden days as it is a giving of parental
blessing to the newlyweds.
A
bride and groom bring to their marriage cultural and religious heritages that
will influence how they think, feel and act toward each other. I believe ________
and __________ are two well-adjusted young people who are willing to take the
risks of revealing themselves meaningfully to each other, finding a style of
marriage that will work for them. I am
happy to propose their health to this assembly.
Ladies
and gentlemen, to _________ and __________!
Ladies’
and gentlemen, while we were in church this morning, I thought of a story I
once heard about a prominent judge who attended the wedding of the daughter of
an old friend. After the ceremony, the
happy couple came down the aisle, smiling gaily at relatives and friends. As
they passed the judge’s pew, he felt a strong urge to step out and tell them to
make theirs a lifelong partnership. He
so much wanted to tell them never to let anything drive them into a divorce
court where he had seen so many marriages terminated. He didn’t do it because the very thought of
divorce seemed to him a desecration of that joyful moment.
When
the judge returned home after the wedding, he thought about the contrast
between the happiness of a wedding day and the harshness of the many days he
had spent in court. He thought about the
many accusations and reasons given for breaking up a marriage. Based on that experience,
he put down the following ten commandments, which I hope will help you to
retain the joy of this day:
1. Avoid the first quarrel.
2. Don’t argue, nag or find fault.
3. Let there be no boss to rule the house.
4. “Ours” and not “mine” should be the
possessive pronoun.
5. Confine your intimacies to yourselves; don’t
share them with your friends.
6. Don’t live with your in-laws. No matter how humble, have a home of your own.
7. The love and affection you displayed during
your courtship will go a long way to
prevent petty squabbles.
8. Running a
household can be tough, tedious and tiresome. Keep that in mind and be
tolerant when nerves are slightly frayed.
9. Respect each other. When respect goes, love
vanishes.
10. Protect the home with love. Have as many
children as you can afford.
Ladies
and gentlemen, this is indeed a happy occasion and without a doubt the happiest
day for ______ and ___________. They are
a wonderful couple.
Please
rise and drink with me to their happiness and a long and joyful life
together. To ________ and __________!
When
I was, asked to propose a toast to the bride, I searched through all kinds of
literature. I came across a letter
written in the nineteenth century by a married man to a friend about to be
married. This made me decide to include our groom in my toast, because I
realized that the respective attitudes of husbands and wives towards each other
have changed so drastically since the letter was written. Let me read parts of
it so that you can see for yourselves.
“Can it be possible, has it come to this at
last? You cynic, railer against women,
the unalterable bachelor - is it possible that you have, at last, been captured
and have surrendered all your ordnance, heavy guns and small arms to the enemy?
“What a defeat! That large strong heart
all crumbling to pieces and surrendering to Cupid’s battery. Well, now seriously, my friend, from my point
of view you have done the sensible thing.
The man who goes the journey alone through life, lives but half a life.”
Our correspondent goes on to congratulate his friend
for having found a “woman fitted by temperament and accomplishment to render his path through life joyous.” Not a
word about her because, after all, she is the enemy. What young woman today would enter into a
marriage under similar circumstances?
There is one thing about
_________ and __________, they were friends long before they were lovers. It used to be said that to make marriage work
required a fifty-fifty commitment; not so.
Each must give one hundred percent for the other to receive one hundred percent.
And we know that ______ and __________ are willing to do that. Their
temperaments and accomplishments are well suited to each other to render their paths
through life joyous.
Ladies and gentlemen, please
join me in saluting _________ and _________, and wishing them all the happiness life
has to offer. To _______ and ________!
TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM
First, let me thank ________
and ______ for asking me to propose the traditional wedding toast, which I wish
to address to both of them. It not only
gives me a chance to tell you both how great I think you are but it also allows
me to say how delighted I am that you chose each other and finally decided to
marry. The fact that you will be living
under one roof from now on promises to be of great benefit to me personally
since I will only have to dial one telephone number instead of two whenever I
want to reach you.
Also, since ________ plans
to do most of the cooking, I will no longer have to pretend how much I enjoyed
the groom’s past culinary efforts. We
know he has many admirable qualities and skills but, frankly, cooking does not
happen to be one of them!
Until now, I thought that the only justifiable
marriage was the one that produced me.
Why have I changed my mind? Why
do I approve of this particular union?
Because I have seen these two in action.
Two people who can laugh at each other’s jokes and accept with so much
good humor each other’s imperfections, faults and foibles. In fact, they not only can accept the flaws in each other’s
characters, they have learned to love them with passion. I believe, that by doing so, each has given
the other a very rare and precious gift - the right to be themselves.
Ladies and gentlemen, as we raise our glasses to
wish them well, let us remember how privileged we are to be able to participate
in the opening scene of what promises to be a beautiful story, played with love
and affection on the stage of life.
To _______and ___________! Much joy and happiness,
always!
When I was asked to propose a toast to the bride and
groom I assumed that, in addition to expressing my good wishes, I would be
expected to offer some good advice from the vast storehouse of my experience. But knowing them as two wonderful and
intelligent people, I began to wonder whether they really needed my words of
wisdom. After all, I got married many
years ago when the respective roles of husband and wife were much more clearly
defined and when the remarks at a wedding reception would be considered sexist
by today’s standards.
I believe that _______ and _________, long before
announcing their intention to marry, already had a pretty good idea what to
expect from their union. But isn’t it
also true that marriage is a kind of business?
Before being able to accept a job you have to undergo extensive
training. To qualify for marriage you
don’t need a Ph.D., nor do you need to serve an apprenticeship. The two partners come to it with no more than
their dreams and expectations. There are
no computer programs to guarantee success.
Half a century ago, a famous psychologist predicted
that matrimony, as he knew it, would not last beyond 1977. Here we are, _____ years later and ninety
percent of the population of this country still finds the institution
appealing. Why? Granted, it has become more flexible -
emphasizing the mutual giving and receiving of emotional and physical satisfaction
- but there just does not seem to be a substitute for a stable and committed
relationship.
_______ and __________ care about theirs; they want
it to grow and flourish. And we, who
have come to witness the exchange of their sacred vows and receive the blessing
of their church, can but wish them well.
May I ask this distinguished assembly to rise as I
propose a toast, to the fulfillment of their dreams and expectations. To _____ and _________!
In order to do justice to my pleasant task, I
shunned no effort to make this toast very special, because the two people I
wish to honor with it are very special. To be certain of a flawless delivery, I consulted famous
orators, and to give substance to my little speech, I sought out philosophers,
and men and women of letters who were supposed to help me phrase these people’s
ideas in a manner appropriate to the occasion.
However, in the end, I felt compelled to say - in my own simple words -
the things that are most dear to my heart.
I have known_______ and _________ for a considerable number of years,
and we are good friends. Early on in
their friendship, I was able to observe that it was developing into something
more lasting. The English essayist and
critic William Hazlitt once said, “To be capable of steady friendship and
lasting love are the greatest proofs, not only of goodness of heart but of
strength of mind.” ______ and _________ have both, and when they decided to
build a life together they already knew that marriage would be a rewarding
experience for them.
I suppose as their good
friend, one who so far has been successful in his own marriage, I ought to
leave them with at least one piece of advice.
The goal of marriage is not to score points or to decide who is right
and who is wrong. Marriage is a cooperative, not a competition where the one
wins and the other one loses.
Friends, let us wish these
two fortunate people many wonderful things as they start life together.
Please rise and join me in a toast to their good health and happiness.
________ and ________, the bride and bridegroom.
TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM BY A MUTUAL FRIEND
I believe brevity is the
soul of wit, and I promise in that sense I am about to make a very witty
speech. I have known the bride and groom
for a very long time and was honored when they asked me to say a few words
today. If it hadn't been for me, they
probably would never have met, and when they did meet, I did my best to
encourage their relationship, much to the detriment of my own social life. For look at me - it is they who are married and not I.
Like most married people,
they will smugly try to fix me up with someone, telling me it's for my own
good. So be it!
True to, my promise to be
brief, I now wish to propose a toast to _______ and _________, my good friends,
asking you to raise your glasses and drink to their continued happiness. To ___________ and __________!
A SECOND MARRIAGE TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM
There must be something good
about marriage as more and more people are finding it appealing. To get married
for the second time is an even greater step to take, and it calls for a very
special celebration. You both are more
mature and perhaps a little less starry-eyed than the first time around,
although you still will have to learn to adjust to each other in the same way
as the couple who is getting married for the first time.
Yet you are different,
perhaps more aware of the pitfalls of married life, more anxious to avoid
making the same mistakes a second time.
You will make others, but that is only human. There will be new decisions
to be made, new problems to be solved, but I know you will handle the task with
love and discretion.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
ask you to join me in a toast to the happy couple. In proposing it, I would like to avail myself
of the witty words of the famous Dr. Samuel Johnson, "Here's to a second
marriage - the triumph of hope over experience." To ________ and
_________, good health and happiness for a long and prosperous life!
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM
Mr.______________, honored guests, my wife and I have decided to start married life with
our first agreement - to thank Mr. ___________ for the wonderful way he honored
us on. We also wish to thank all of you for your enthusiastic response to the
good wishes expressed by our friend. I know that everything he said about
________ is true, but I was overwhelmed by the nice things he said about me and
cannot help wondering whether I really deserve them. I shall have to set myself
very high standards to live up to the praises he bestowed upon me. I also want
to thank __________'s mother and father, Mr. and Mrs. _________ for the way
they accepted me as their new son.
Again, I shall do my best not to disappoint them. I promise to be a good husband to ________.
Special thanks are in order
to my own Mom and Dad, who have supported me in all my endeavors ever since I
can remember and who have, by the example they set as husband and wife, showed
me what a good marriage is.
I say
thanks to our guests for their generosity.
In return, we hope to offer you our hospitality, as soon as the
"Cuisinart" is unpacked and we have learned how to use it.
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM
Ladies and gentlemen,
_________ almost took my breath away by saying all those wonderful things about
us. I know my lovely bride deserves them, but I? To live up to this kind of
tribute, I really shall have to mend my ways; I don't think I'm as good as he
says I am. I do, however, wish to thank _________, for consenting to become my
wife. I also want to thank her mother
and father for entrusting her to my care. They will be pleased not to hear my
voice on the telephone every day of the week or to be a constant visitor at
their house. To my own parents, I would say thank you for your love and
understanding, you have never failed to support me in any of my endeavors,
crazy as they may have been at times.
There is nothing more
cheering as the wholehearted support of family and friends. By being here and sharing with us this
wonderful occasion, you have helped us get the right start. My wife joins me in thanking you. The lovely gifts you have bestowed upon us
and the many good wishes that went with them will be a constant reminder of
your many kindnesses.
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM
Mr. ________, ladies and
gentlemen, I thank you for your very kind words and for all the good wishes,
coming as they do from good friends and members of both of our families. I fail to see why and how we should ever lack
the happiness you wish for us. For whatever the future may hold, your affection
and friendship will assist us in meeting any adversity with confidence.
In thanking you for sharing
this wonderful day with us, my wife and I also wish to express our gratitude to
our immediate families, the bridesmaids and the best man. Last but not least, I say to my lovely bride,
you are beautiful, charming, and delightful to be with and thank you for
agreeing to become my wife.
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM INCLUDING A TOAST
Ladies and gentlemen, first,
my wife and I wish to thank our good friend _________ for the wonderful way he
proposed the toast to my lovely bride.
He said many things that I knew already, but it was nice to hear them
repeated so eloquently. That and his
good wishes have made us both very happy.
I want to thank you all for
the wonderful gifts that began arriving even before our wedding day, and let me
assure you that they will be given places of honor in our new home, which I
hope you will visit very soon.
Some special thanks I have
set aside for a few very important people - my new in-laws, my own mother and
father and, last but not least, the bridesmaids; all of you have contributed so
much to making this day so memorable.
I propose a toast to you and
to my lovely bride. To _________!
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM, INCLUDING A TOAST
Ladies and gentlemen, first,
my wife and I - and this is the first time I have used her new title wish to
thank _________ for his very kind words and good wishes. To you, our honored guests, I express my
thanks for responding with so much enthusiasm and spontaneity. I also would like to say thank you for the
generous gifts you have bestowed on us, and I sincerely hope you will visit us
soon to see them.
A very special and hearty
thanks goes to my new in-laws, who have not only entrusted their beautiful
daughter to me but have spared no effort to make this celebration memorable and
meaningful for us.
Let me propose a toast to
them as well as to my own mother and father, who I love very much. Also included in my toast are ________,
____________ and ______________,who did such a great job being the best
bridesmaids in the whole wide world. To
Mr. and Mrs. ____________, Mom and Dad and ______ and __________.
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM INCLUDING A TOAST
Mr. ________, distinguished
guests, we thank you for your kind words, which touched us deeply. We appreciate
your confidence in our ability to know what we want from this union. Indeed, we have our love and mutual trust to
guide us, but any piece of advice from a veteran of the marriage business such
as you is always welcome, I assure you.
My beautiful bride has
accepted me with all my weaknesses, and I thank her for it. So far, I have not
yet discovered any in her, but if I do, I promise to accept them with tact and
understanding.
My response would not be
complete without expressing sincere thanks to Mr. and Mrs. _________, my new
in-laws, who accepted me with so much magnanimity. To my own mother and father I say, thank you
for all your love and devotion which, in turn, gave me the security and
confidence to love and cherish my darling wife, _______.
I would also like to convey
to our honored guests how much your presence here, today, means to us. My final thank you goes to the bridesmaids,
whose dedication to their jobs was unsurpassed.
I hereby propose their good health and happiness. To __________ and __________.
RESPONSE BY THE GROOM INCLUDING A TOAST
Ladies and gentlemen, we
thank you for the way you responded to the toast to the bride and for your good
wishes. I am a very happy man today, and
when I look at _________ my bride, she looks lovelier than ever, which may in
part, be due to her own happiness.
The reason why things have
gone so well for us today is also due to the efforts of a group of wonderful
ladies who with infinite skill helped _________ get dressed this morning,
assisting her with numerous little deeds. I am talking of _________, ________
and ____________, our charming bridesmaids.
Please join me in drinking a toast to their health and happiness - to
you.
BEST MAN'S TOAST TO THE BRIDESMAIDS
Ladies and gentlemen, it now
is my pleasant duty to propose the good health of the bridesmaids. So far, all the attention has been focused on
these two fortunate people, the bride and groom - but I know I speak for them
when I say that they will not mind if some of the glory goes to these delightful
ladies who have done more than their share to make this day such a rousing
success.
Without further ado, let me
thank them and ask you all to join me in a toast to __________________ and
_____________.
BEST MAN'S TOAST TO THE BRIDESMAIDS
Today it has not only been
my pleasant duty to attend the bridegroom and cater to his every whim, I also
was asked to look after the bridesmaids, which proved a very simple task
because they very ably took care of themselves.